Apple Store, New York

Being not-yet-blessed with iPhones, the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue was our sole connection with the WWW while in New York. Thank you Apple — suckers! I didn't even think about buying anything while I was using your free internet!

Although, it did occasion me to consider how much more convenient an iPhone would be.

Top of the Rockefeller Centre

Upon entering New York City, all visitors are required to sign a T-53 form, legally binding them to travel to the top of at least one tall building during their stay. And so, mindful of our obligation, Shelley and I chose the Rockefeller Centre.

The gilded ambience of the ground floor reminded us of our flat back in London.

Sure it was a little overcast, but we were really lucky to get in when we did; in the space of a couple of minutes — really, a couple of minutes — the view went from this, to this:

We walked past one of the attendants on the top floor and overheard him speaking into his walkie-talkie: "Visibility is zero; I repeat, visibility is zero". Sometimes walkie-talkies make you take things a little too seriously.

Chipotle New York

This one goes out to Gerrod. Gerrod talks about Chipotle burritos, fajitas and tacos so much that I've begun to think he is over-compensating for some harrowing mexican food-related experience he had as a child.

But man, those burritos are good. Pulled pork, cilantro and lime rice, pinto beans, salsa. Delicious! And alarmingly friendly service to go with it as well; the woman who served us was so friendly that Dan immediately assumed she was making fun of us. Now that is a true hallmark of friendliness.

New York or Lewisham?

Once in New York, all I could think about was how we would get back there again. It's an incredible place - but when I say that, I feel about as original as the person who commissioned this park bench plaque in Central Park:

Imbeciles!(!!) Surely there must be some kind of municipal fine for people who engrave such things in aluminium. Either a municipal fine, or some kind of punishment in the afterlife.

Anyway, we got talking to one of the front desk attendants at the YMCA, and found that he wasn't as happy with New York as we were. He was originally from Gabon, but had moved to New York from London. When we told him that we were from London he exclaimed, "Oh, London is lovely!" and went on to say that he had lived in Lewisham for a number of years.

Now, we used to live in Greenwich, which is right next to Lewisham, and Lewisham, without being too nasty, is one of the most depressing places you could choose to live in London. In what is now one of my favourite quotes, Edith Nesbit in The Wouldbegoods (1899) sums it up:

In London, or at any rate Lewisham, nothing happens unless you make it happen; or if it happens it doesn't happen to you, and you don't know the people it does happen to.

It made me wonder what kind of horrible experience Mr. Front Desk Attendant had had living in New York.

Maybe it's not as fun to work at the YMCA as it is to stay there.

Janet Jackson / E.T.

We saw this billboard on the subway in New York, and Dan pointed out that Janet Jackson is looking more and more like E.T.

And she is really is.

Island Burgers and Shakes, New York

Island Burgers and Shakes came highly recommended to us by longtime New York patrons, Gerrod and Kristy, and it did not disappoint. Lucky for it too, because we usually trash the interiors of places that disappoint us. (Case in point: The Golden Yak.) But as you can see, we left Island burgers pretty much as we found it.

The waitress recommended I try the 'Cowboy' burger (I didn't even tell her that my brothers and I were made to wear 10-gallon hats as children) and a chocolate milkshake. I very much enjoyed the chocolate milkshake.

Here is a picture of selectively lactose intolerant Shelley considering the repercussions of "sharing" my incredible shake. There were repercussions, but not like she anticipated.

FAO Schwarz Big Piano: New York

While in New York, we stopped in at FAO Schwarz with the sole purpose of checking out the Big Piano (that is, the piano of unusual size featured in T. Hanks' classic, Big).

As luck would have it, we arrived just as a couple of staff members were putting on a show: Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

When they had finished their little toccata and fugue, and just as the applause was dying down, I seized the moment: taking a short run up, I launched myself down the keys with a wicked knee-slide. I then rose to my feet and performed Bach's Sinfonia in Eb Major, solo. Everyone said they had never seen or heard anything like it before in their lives.

Earlier on, the staff also performed Brown Eyed Girl. This, I must say, was not their finest hour. Not taking a shot, just saying it was perhaps a little over-ambitious. OK, I am taking a shot - so what?

And you too can have your very own Big Piano for just $69.99. (You must be either four years old or an avid loser.)

Coney Island

On Thursday, we caught the subway down to Coney Island, that once-magnificent theme park in the farthest reaches of Brooklyn. As you can see from the hustle and bustle of the subway car, a lot of people had the same idea as us.

When we got off the train at Stillwell Ave, a family of Orthodox Jews followed us out. Then, as we neared the entrance to the park, we saw another family of Orthodox Jews walking out, presumably on their way home.

Now, New Yorkers are unlikely to find what I'm about to recount all that interesting, but, seeing as we're not New Yorkers, here goes anyway. When we got into inside the theme park, for as far as the eye could see: Orthodox Jews. When we made our way to the boardwalk, for as far as the eye could see: Orthodox Jews. When we got to the beach, for as far as the eye could see: Hare Krishnas - don't be stupid or I'll kick you! Orthodox Jews!

Either there was something we didn't know (highly unlikely), or we were bearing witness to one of the greatest coincidences in the history of mankind ("You brought your family to Coney Island? So did I!" "And so did I!" "And so did I!" Forever and ever, this conversation would play out for as far as the eye could see).

(This guy did a much more artist job of capturing what we saw.)

As it turned out, there was something we didn't know: Passover. Apparently, there must be some grand tradition of bringing the family to Coney Island during Passover. For the life of me, I haven't been able to find out why, but I would really like to if anyone else has a clue.

Here's a picture of me and Dan enjoying a couple of cones on Coney Island beach.

New York, Chrysler Building

Here's a picture of me and my brother Dan going all Brady Bunch on the Chrysler Building. Couldn't be better.

New York was everything we hoped it would be and more. Our time spent there is obviously too much for just one post, so right now I'm a bit stuck with option anxiety.

OK, here's another picture of me and Dan, going all Good Cop/ Bad Cop on the Chrysler Building: