Her Little Bitch

As a pet name, Shelley used to refer to me—in French—as "Little Dog" (Petit Chien). I could tolerate this, as it was reasonably funny and only mildly insulting. However, my opinion changed rapidly when Shelley let the term of endearment slip out in front of our French friend, Fred.

Fred told us that, given the way Shelley was pronouncing it (Petite Chienne), and in light of the whole masculine/feminine thing in French, she was literally calling me her "Little Bitch". This, for me, took much of the blitheness out of the name and replaced it with sting.

For Fred, it was the joyous pinnacle of Anglo-French relations.