Thursday, January 31, 2013

Fidel, that handsome fellow

The Museo de la Revolución in Havana chronicles the armed struggle of revolutionary forces led by (the handsome) Fidel Castro—against (the ugly) dictator, Fulgencio Batista.

Admittedly the museum's tone is more partial to one side than the other—but who would begrudge Cuba its turn at that?

Exhibit A: a frying pan. A significant frying pan. The label reads:

Frying pan snatched from the enemy and used at La Plata [Castro's guerilla] headquarters.

'Used', I imagine, with as much fanfare as any frying pan has been. (Gratuitous flambés, mid-air flipping of omelettes, etc).

For Batista's men, this culinary loss would prove disastrous; they had packed only one frying pan. It was a senseless frugality on their part, and one that would see the remainder of their campaign marred by a haunting lack of omelettes.

Exhibit B: the CIA's skullduggery.


An entire wall was dedicated to the CIA's attempts to destroy Cuba's economy. Dengue fever, pig fever, cane mildew, the 'blue moss' tobacco virus. We had a chortle. Indeed, the CIA is bad, bad, bad, but the wall gave them too much credit. They couldn't have done it all. 

n.b. After some cursory research on my internet, I now believe the CIA did it all. So much so that I'm beginning to wonder how much of my own misfortune might be attributable to the CIA. In some ways, I hope it's a lot. That might be comforting.

Exhibit C: a boat used by 'pirate' mercenaries in the failed Bay of Pigs invasion.

Apparently, these astonishingly honest pirates painted a neat skull-and-crossbones on the bow of their boat. Nice. That’s like a jerk buying a yacht and choosing to name it Jerk’s Boat, instead of Moon Tide or Sea-duction or Bon-Bon.

And finally, near the exit, like a hairy belly breaking loose from a girdle, the Cubans did away with all pretence and just drew mean pictures of the people they didn't like.

2 comments:

NIck Zeeb said...

we knew you'd love communism!

Sweet Olive Press | Helen said...

I'm planning my own wall of CRETINOS. All caps. It's going to be awesome, and extensive.