Insomnia and Fruit

A couple of nights ago now, I experienced a terrible bout of insomnia. I stayed awake until at least 4 AM feeling completely tired, yet completely wired. It was in this state that I came up with a brilliant writing idea: fruit monologues. No, not talking fruit, but me talking to fruit.

I started writing, and I kept writing for quite a while. I was convinced this was the best stuff I had ever written.

Unfortunately, when I came to read my fruit monologues in the morning, they were not as funny as I remembered. It was like waking up to find ... well, that you had spent the better part of the night before talking to fruit.

Here is one called Dragon Fruit:

Dragon fruit, I'm not so sure you are going to take off the same way apples and bananas have. I know it may seem like an unfair comparison, but they are just so popular right now, and you ... well, the grocer only stocks four, maybe six of you at a time. Still, I think I should give you a go. Some people I know say you taste gross but, I think you look pretty good. So colourful. Maybe you taste like punch?

I have tried you now and you are gross, just like those people said.

END.

Trust me, you stay up until 4 AM tomorrow morning and read it again - you will think I am a genius.