Coffee Evolution

Look at these quantum leaps in the quality of my lattes!

1. Disappointing.

2. Promising.

3. Shades of brilliance.

4. Transcendent!

I'd like to thank my Sensei, Gerrod, who makes coffees that look a lot better than this.

Homonym

(In the interests of privacy, names have been changed in this story. But I haven't spoken to these people in close to a decade anyway.)

I had two friends in university, Sarah and Matthew. Yes, I had lots of other friends (loads in fact), but these were two of them. Now Sarah was a little ditzy, and Matthew was, how do you say, a bit different-looking. Not to be nasty, but Matthew was quite egg-shaped, and the corners of his eyes had a bit of a downward slope (yes, that does have something to do with the story).

Anyway, one day Matthew came to uni with peroxide-blonde hair. He was sitting in a cafe with me and Sarah, talking to us about his new look.

"You know," he said in a long-suffering tone, "ever since I got my hair peroxided everyone's been telling me I look like Eminem."

At this, Sarah slammed the table with both hands flat, and her face lit up like she had just solved the Rosetta stone.

"That's it!" she said, "You do look like an M&M! You look like the peanut M&M!"

(pause)

"No Sarah. Eminem. The rapper."

To her credit, she didn't try to repair the situation. You have to respect that.

The Old Bailey

A few months back, Shelley and I visited the Old Bailey to view the proceedings of a murder trial. As cameras were not allowed inside the courtroom, I've had to make do with some pastel sketches. And talk about make do!

(Me at the Old Bailey.)

We felt a little awkward getting into the courts, as we were flying completely blind; there were no posters around town telling us what was showing, so we had to go in with some trepidation. When I stepped through the first security checkpoint, the guard greeted me and asked with piercing eyes, "Which proceeding are you viewing today?" I felt reluctant to say, Just whatever is good thanks, but what I ended up saying must have sounded a lot like that. He was definitely trying to psych me out - almost all attempts to psych me out work quite well.

(Piercing eyes.)

Inside the courtroom, things didn't exactly move at the speed of light. The jury came in looking bored, sat down, and started chewing gum (I guess to stay awake). At the back of the room the co-accused sat behind a wall of glass. The five of them were minded by two guards, Monsieur Fatty and Monsieur Skinny. Monsieur Fatty, who had no gum, fell asleep shortly after the court went into session.

The part of the case we viewed involved a barrister and a detective reading out a transcript of a police interview with one of the accused. It was very gripping, especially coming late into the trial, trying to work out what had gone on. Annoyingly, there was no catch-up session, but we still managed to piece it together, and by the time we had to go we'd all but solved the mystery.

I was checking out the website for the Old Bailey the other day, and look at this! They make available online all the court transcipts between 1674 and 1913. Some of it makes for really interesting reading, although a lot of people seemed to stand trial for stealing handkerchiefs.

http://www.oldbaileyonline.org/

I'm not much of a super villain

After finding out what Superhero I am most like, I thought I would take the 'What super villain are you quiz.'


I guess there is no global domination in my future.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

S

Snowdonia

Last weekend the Putney crew hired a car and drove out to Snowdonia National Park in Wales for our friend Todd's surprise party. Shannon (of Todd and Shannon) organised the whole weekend, sourcing a ridiculously large mansion for the 16 of us (? - I lost count) to stay in.


This place was big. Apart from an inordinate number of bedrooms, it had an enourmous games room with billiards and ping-pong table; a huge kitchen with an old meat locker; and a dining room big enough to seat 16 people. Actually, just picture the Cluedo house (which, from memory, also had a ping-pong table) and you've pretty much got it. Apparently it cost the owners 100 pounds a day just to heat it.

Todd and Shannon arrived at around 11PM, and, needless to say, Todd was fairly surprised to find 14 people he knew lounging in a living room in the middle of Wales. We all said 'surprise', confirming his sentiment, then had a nice birthday party-like night.

The next day we went out clay pigeon shooting, which for me was a major highlight. We had an excellent instructor, a Welsh guy who had served in the armed forces, and (surprise, surprise) disliked the English. NB: If you ever feel the conversation drying up with a Welsh person, just mention the English - it's like putting a coin in a vending machine. I think you might even get something if you mentioned English muffins.

Now, in the shooting I came a valiant (if distant) last out of my troop, with John just edging Gerrod out for the top spot. However, it's important to remember that the winners don't write history, it's the people with video cameras. So in my version of events, I won, and the following clip shows the final shot that secured my victory. Hooray for Julian!



And this was a nice sunset, at two in the afternoon.

I guess you could call this snow

To those of you who are familiar with snow, this may not be so impressive. It was worth a little snow dance outside for me though, when I woke up on a Sunday to find snow outside. Okay, so maybe Julian had to tell me there was snow outside. I was so cozy with the curtains closed.

The weather here has (unsurprisingly) been getting colder and colder over the past few weeks, and we have had two 'snows' already with sleet expected this week.


BRRRRRRRR.